Day One

So today was my first day of school. I had a great time! In fact I didn’t want to leave when my classes were over. In previous posts, I have talked about how I didn’t need to take

The view from the Tivoli parking garage (my pic)

any English classes due to my test scores, but when the Radiology rug was pulled out from beneath me, I had to act fast in order to fill my class schedule with courses that would work as a pre-requisite for anything I may wish to pursue. That having been said, my classes today consisted of English Comp 102 and Psych 101. The following are my observations and thoughts of the day…

Upon setting foot on campus, I immediately felt the youthful energy that permeated the environment. I loved it. So many so that I could virtually taste the high hopes and aspiration of everyone around me.

The next thing I noticed was the smoke. I swear it felt like stepping off of the Eurostar onto the main platform in the Gare du Nord (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gare_du_Nord) train station in Paris, France. Anyone would be hard pressed to verify that Denver was a smoke free city. All in all, it didn’t deter from the overall experience.

My first class was English and I was the oldest student, by allot. My professor, Soma Feldmar, is a slender and tall woman (I’m pretty sure I’m older than her too). After that, the next thing I noticed was that she had a small nose piercing. That’s alright, as I have a couple of tattoos myself, so it’s really no big deal.

She starts off by apologizing for not being organized, and that she needs to make some photo copies. One of the other students, Javier, volunteers that he’s disorganized as well. Soma, as she likes to be called, says that it’s okay for a first day student to be disorganized, but not for her and she pulls a file folder out of her bag and starts heading for the door. Javier, again volunteering information, says that he cannot understand why one of his classes has been cancelled. Soma stops and says that it could be for a number of reasons. Javier insists that he doesn’t believe that any of the reasons Soma has provided meet his standard of acceptance, although he includes that he thinks she’s doing a great job, disorganization aside (ass kisser!). Our professor leaves that room for about five minutes, and then returns with a handful of papers. She says that we all need to write a brief essay on why we want to go to college. She then says she’s sorry for such a stupid essay assignment, but tells us it’s required, and then assures us all assignments going forward will be much better. Professor Feldmar also lets the class know that if it helps, our essays don’t have to really be about why we want to go to school, but could be about going to school because of a colony on Mars. Javier pipes up with the fact that this is going to be a great writing assignment, and he can’t wait to get started. I already hate Javier, and this is going to be a long semester.

My second class was Psychology. The professor walked in breathing heavily, bordering on panting. My first thought was, “oh my God, he just got off a 900 call”. The professor, James Nader, hands out the syllabus and then talks about emergency procedures. He tells us, “ I was supposed to show you a DVD about emergency situations, but they forgot to provide it, so if there’s an emergency, there’s the door, go through it”. I like this guy.

My second thought was that I’m finally not the oldest person in the class, as there are four others in the class who are least in their 50’s or older. Those would be Earl and The Gang of Three.

Professor Nader proceeds to provide an overview of the Syllabus, and go over what we can expect for the term. He mentions that all the tests will be take home test, including the final. At that point Earl decides to voice an opinion. Earl is a slightly built man with shoulder length greasy hair, and has a perfectly suited name. His voice is somewhat reminiscent of an agitated Barney Fife while someone is examining his anal cavity with a cattle prod. Earl proceeds to express concern that because the tests are take home, they will be harder than if the tests took place in the class room. Professor Nader assures him that while the questions will be a little harder, because the tests are in fact take home, we will have one week from the time the tests are assigned until they are due, and that they are open book. If that wasn’t enough, he encouraged the entire class to work with one another, in order to better understand the material. Therefore, we (the class) would more than likely get better test results. “It’s not my job to fail anyone” said Nader. Earl voiced his concern once more, and our teacher again, reassured him that his way was the best way. By this time, I witnessed most of the students emanating nearly visible waves of hatred from their heads while at the same time shooting beams of death from their eyes toward Earl. It was a beautiful moment of virtual bonding for us all. At hat point, I began to wonder if Earl was somehow related to Javier.

Now for the gang of three: The gang would be three women, very obese women (I only include this as I’m trying to paint a literary picture), who are seated in the first row. I don’t know their names, but I know they are all acquainted, if not friends, (as I witnessed them together in the book store). They are clearly foaming at the mouth to become the teacher’s pets. I know this because they laugh at his every joke, nod knowingly at his every point, and their hands shoot up, not unlike the space shuttle taking off with the aid of a nitrous boost, whenever he asks a question. So much so, that when the professor asked, “Does anyone have any curiosities about psychology?” the gang of three took up the next 18 minutes (I timed it) of class time with their inquiries. When the professor then asked if anyone else had any questions, the three women started vying for position to ask another round of questions. When Professor Nader called on another student, that classmate paused for about a second and a half, and one of the gang seized the opportunity. We spent the next 7 minutes (again, I timed it) listening to the gang. When Earl asked what our teachers credentials where, Nader responded with, “My parents where really fucked up”. I like Mr. Nader even more.

I have decided to lump the gang of three and Earl into the foursome that I now refer to as the “There but for the grace of God go I” gang.

So that was my first day of school. I’m completely excited about what is yet to come, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.